itmakesalumpforminhisthroatbutheswallowsitdown,blinksjustinasethereweretears.hedoesnotry.hewillnotryoverthis,whenseamusisnotdead,whenseamusisgoingtobeperfetlyfineassoonasthepotionskikin.

ouldn’tbelievehegottobefriendswithsomeonewhoatedlikethis.“you’reatuallyprettydrunk.”

(hewillnotbefine,hewasneverfine,willneverbefine,noneofthemeverwereorwillbefine.hedoesnotknowwhatokayissupposedtofeellike.)

harry

“i’msorryaboutyourfriend.”drao’svoieutsthroughthesilene,anditisobviousthatheisfumbling,tryingtomakethisbetter.“it’sshitty.”

silene,abeattoolong,beauseeventhoughtheywerejusthappy,harrywentandbroughtthebadthingbaktothefrontoftheirminds.hedidn’twanttodothat,beausethatmeantthinkingaboutdeanandseamus,ofdeanholdingseamus’limphand,thewayhelethisthumbtraeoverthefreklesonseamus’knukleswithoutlooking.hedidn’thavetolooktoknowwheretheywere.

(hermioneallsitsoialdrinking,saysit’sabadthing.ronallsitagoodtime.)

“good.”isheslurring?he’snot.maybedrao’stheonewhoan’ttellwhenpeoplearedrunk.“iwantedtobe.”

“yeah,”harrylearshisthroattomakehisvoieworkandpsdraoontheshoulder,tryingtomakethisfeellikeitwasaoionbetweentwomates,boyswhoarejustfriendsanddon’twanttobeanythingless.ithasn’tfeltlikethatinawhile.“shitty.”

they’regoodtogether,hermioneanddrao.

harrysortoflikedthat,eventhoughheknewthatdraowasprobablywrakinghisbrainstoomeupwithsomethingbetter.nobme,nodemands,nonothing.forone,herewassomeonewhowasnotturningtoharrytofixit,andjustwantingtoseeifhewasokay.

chapter9

andmaybehewas.harry’sbeentoldthatheneverknowshe’sdrunkuntilhe’sreallydrunk.

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